There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
