4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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