Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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