When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
