dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
