I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
