you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
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