How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
