I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
