she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
