He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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