after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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