he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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