I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
