I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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