I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Randomize
