just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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