we're blogging at a bar
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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