I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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