In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Randomize
