Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
