I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
