Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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