Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
