so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
