Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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