i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
