I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
