I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
