What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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