just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
