I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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