Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
