fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
