Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
