Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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