Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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