If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
