Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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