I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
