Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
