Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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