I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
i believe in u and ur pee
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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