I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
