He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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