i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
