your parents love me but you hate me
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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