Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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