never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
