I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
