Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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