2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Randomize
